


Rahadin's very bad no good Fanfiction

by asoftribbit



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: M/M, Mild Blood, Oral Sex, POV First Person, Parody, butt stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 16:35:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20156683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asoftribbit/pseuds/asoftribbit
Summary: Our DM wrote joke fanfic of the campaign. This deviates from the Curse of Strahd original lore, in this version, Rahadin killed the dusk elves without Strahd's permission. Written by Rahadin during his solitary confinement in the dungeons of Castle Ravenloft, after he massacred the dusk elves and got locked up for a few years. Sometimes you gotta write your own happy ending.





	Rahadin's very bad no good Fanfiction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my lovely DnD group](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+lovely+DnD+group).

> She doesn't want credit for this and apologises for everything ever. I think everyone should enjoy this. I did a dramatic reading for the group so I can do whatever I want with it (no I did get permission to post this don't worry, this is consensual badfic sharing). Anyway Rahadin sucks, have some laughs.
> 
> Suggested tags: GOOD OLD ARSE EATING, fuuUUUUuucking, Strahd cares for me <3 <3 <3, Rahadin gets sweet sweet loving, SKATE FAST EAT ARSE, booty like groceries

_ Written by Rahadin during his solitary confinement in the dungeons of Castle Ravenloft,  _

_ after he massacred the dusk elves and got locked up for a few years. _

Murder was easy, cleaning off the blood and dressing wounds was always the  _ hard _ part.   
Naturally, I had done it all for Lord Strahd. His future wife had been murdered by her brothers to prevent her from coming to live at the castle with him. Of course I had to retaliate, to defend my Lord’s honor, and so I ended up destroying my own race, my Lord had no idea of my plans, as I wanted it to be a surprise to him, a gift of some sort.

It was dawn by the time I got back to the castle after a long night of killing, I thought that my Lord would have surely been asleep so I snuck into the castle and past his room to get to a bathroom where I could make myself presentable before sharing the good news with him: dusk elves weren’t really a thing anymore! I was sure he would be enthusiastic.

I am a man of immense dexterity and stealth, so I did not make a noise when walking past his room, of that I am sure, the loudest noise I could have made was the one of water as I splashed it on my face, removing the first of many layers of dried up blood. But still, my Lord heard me, he has always been incredibly perceptive and he must have been able to sense my presence into the castle.

As I dried the water from my face and looked up I saw his imposing figure standing in the doorway and blocking most of the light from coming into the room, I could not see his face and his voice did not let any emotions come through as he spoke.   
“Would you care to explain why you’re coming to the castle at dawn, covered in blood and why no one in the staff could tell me where you spent the night?”

I gulped, had he needed my services while I was away? And did not being able to find me leave him angry… or had he perhaps been worried about me?

“My Lord, I can explain. I wanted to make them pay for what they did to you, th-”

Before I could finish talking he had crossed the room and we were now mere inches apart, I could feel his cold breath on my face as he stood towering over me. 

  
“What did you do?” his voice was trembling, I thought that he must have been extremely angry at me.

“I… I killed them all.”

The moments that followed were harrowing, I couldn’t let myself breathe for fear of breaking the silence.

All of a sudden, his strong hand was grasping my shoulder, it stayed there for what felt like an eternity as I closed my eyes and prepared for whatever punishment was to come for my disappearing without warning... Instead, Lord Strahd slowly loosened his grip and his hand started making its way up towards my neck, and then the side of my face.

I hadn’t dared open my eyes yet, but when I did, what I saw shocked me, his face had softened and he was looking at me almost tenderly.

“My hero… Let me take care of you, it’s the least I could do for everything you do for me. In fact, I should have done this much sooner, I have never appreciated you as much as I should have, let me fix that right now”

I didn’t know what to say, I was in shock, in awe, I couldn’t speak, even as he lifted me with his strong arms as if I weighed next to nothing and he placed me on top of the counter to the side of the sink.

He stood between my parted legs and looked me up and down, devouring me with his eyes and licking his lips as he did so. I could feel my member growing harder and my skin getting hotter and hotter, It was unthinkable to touch myself though, I feared what he might have done if I even attempted it, so I placed my hands by the sides of my hips, digging my nails into the marble counter to help keep me steady.

I had expected him to be a lot rougher, instead he simply started by brushing a hand between my hair, gently prestidigitating the blood out of it as he did so. His other hand was fiddling with the buttons of my shirt, teasingly rotating them without actually bothering to open any of them.

He moved his face closer to mine, and I lifted my chin, impatiently hoping to connect our lips for a kiss, instead he dodged me, opting to go for my neck.

Having a vampire so close to my jugular was terrifying yet incredibly hot at the same time, I’m sure he could feel my pulse jumping as he pressed his tongue against my collarbone, and how it kept rising as he worked his way up my neck, lavishing it with his tongue and cleaning the blood off.

I could not help a moan escaping my lips as he scraped his teeth against my adam’s apple, and that only seemed to encourage him; the hand that had been gently brushing my hair suddenly clenched and pulled back, making me expose my throat even more to him. I spread my legs wider and he pressed closer against my hard body.

When he felt that my neck was satisfyingly clean of all the blood, he moved up to my ear, gently nibbling on it.

“This space is too cramped for me to continue, shall we move somewhere more comfortable?” 

I turned my head to face him and blinked up at him in a daze, unable to give him an answer.

He huffed in my ear, a teasing sort of laughter, his cold breath sent shivers down my spine. “Just hold on to me.”   
And that I did, as soon as my arms moved to link around his shoulders he whisked me away, one hand still pressing on the side of my neck, his thumb teasing my pulse point with a sharp claw, the other had now moved down to strongly grasp my cheeks, digging into them, possibly drawing blood and bringing me a mixture of pain and pleasure.

We arrived in his room in no time, I had hoped that he would walk more slowly so that someone in the castle could be able to see us, to witness how tightly he was holding on to me, how possessive he was. I wanted him to show me off.

Still, the disappointment faded quickly when my back hit his mattress and he pressed his body against mine, causing me to gasp again.

Finally his lips moved to meet mine. It was like a breath of fresh air for a drowning man, I opened my mouth more, to allow his tongue passage and he pushed it further into my mouth, digging around as if trying to find gold. He tasted incredible, like blood, death, roses, ichor, sadness and lust.   
  
The harsh and passionate slide of our tongues against each other did nothing but make my cock harder, I desperately tried to thrust my hips towards him but he slyly pulled out of the way to deny me the relief that making rough contact with his body would have provided.

I groaned into his mouth and he pulled away just enough to look at me with a smirk.

“Getting impatient, are we?”

My hands, that had been grasping the sheets up until this point, moved down the back of his thigh in a teasing manner as I looked him in the eye and raised an eyebrow.

He squinted at me, wondering how willing I was to test my luck today, turns out, I was pretty willing as I finally reached his derrière with one hand and his member with the other, I squeezed both of them at the same time.

  
The shock on his face didn’t last for long, he growled, dipping down with his mouth to go back to shower my neck in kisses and nibbles as his hands grasped mine and pulled them above my head, pinning them to the headboard.

He left them there, sure that I wouldn’t dare move them, and I didn’t, I kept them up in a delightfully uncomfortable position as he untied his belt slowly, exasperatingly brushing his knuckles against my member as he did so. Once the belt was undone he tied my hands together to the headboard, the expensive leather rubbed at my wrist and I could already feel them becoming red and irritated but I did not care.

He pulled back, moving to straddle me but still leaving my manhood untouched. His hands pulled on my shirt with a quick and powerful movement, making all the buttons pop off and some of the fabric rip, the same treatment was reserved for my pants and then my undergarments, I was left virtually naked, laying in the rags that once were my clothes.

The sudden feeling of cold air against the moist head of my cock made Little Rahadin (although it was anything but little…) spring to attention, Lord Strahd kept not paying any attention to it as it bobbed up and down, inches from his clothed crotch.

Seemingly satisfied with my state of undressing, he started exploring my body. First my chest, he slowed down to pay careful attention to my nipples, even taking both nubs between his sharp teeth one at a time, and cleaning my ripped pectorals of any blood that was left.

He then worked his way down towards my abs, still being very thorough with the strokes of his tongue, and  _ finally _ reached my hips.

I thought that I would get some relief and that my willy would finally get the attention it deserved, instead, he swerved at the last second, opting to leave a trail of kisses in the crease between my thighs and groin, he almost mockingly blew cold air from his nose as he moved between the two folds, causing my manhood to twitch, desperate for any sort of contact. 

His hands pressed down hard on my hips to prevent me from thrusting like I so desperately wanted to do, so I could only concentrate on breathing and not going insane. I wanted my cock touched, right there and then.

With one swift movement, Lord Strahd lifted my knees and hoisted them on his shoulders, he dipped his head past my member and started lapping at my puckered asshole with his experienced tongue, I found myself gasping for air, as the move took me by surprise and my semen almost threatened to spill.

After a few minutes of lavishing my hole with love and attention, he inserted a finger in there, then two, and then three. He spent a good while making sure I was open and ready to receive him, he twisted his fingers around and curled them in a way that made them brush against my center of pleasure in the perfect way every time.

I wasn’t going to last long before begging him to move on and give me more, luckily it didn’t seem like I’d have to, after he considered me sufficiently open and warmed up, he moved away.

The sudden loss of his hands, body and mouth on (and inside) me left me feeling empty, and my displeasure must have been clear on my face, as he took one good look at me and let out a deep and sexy chuckle.

I wondered what I must have looked like to him, a squirming mess of a man, displayed so prettily on his bed, in a pile of ripped clothes, ready to be taken and fucked mercilessly.

He took his sweet time undressing himself, opening his shirt one button at a time, sliding it with infuriating care off of each arm and finally letting it drop to the ground.

The same treatment was reserved for his pants, while his belt had thankfully already been taken off earlier, his nimble fingers moved inexorably slow to open the flap of his trousers, and the movement to slide them off was even more unhurried. If I hadn’t been tied up I would have jumped on him to take them off myself, even with my teeth if necessary, instead all I could do was squirm against the restraints that held my wrists together and whisper “ _ Please have some mercy” _ under my breath. In response to my plea he slowed down even more to remove his underpants, shimmying his way out of them with a mischievous smirk.

Lord Strahd stood naked before me in all his glory, his massive manhood hanging erectly between his legs, it was a beautiful sight to take in, and he knew that, so he let me soak in all his greatness before crawling on the bed to kiss me once more. This time it was sweet and slow, and his hand tenderly cupped the side of my face and caressed it, he even took a moment to look deeply into my eyes and brush a thumb over my lips.

The tenderness didn’t last long, he aligned his manhood against my quivering entrance and with one long clean thrust he had plunged inside me completely.

He started working in quick short jabs, I arched my back so that he’d hit my pleasure zone every time, it didn’t take me long to spread my seed over our conjoined bodies. Even as the spasms of pleasure took over my mind I could not believe it: Lord Strahd had made me come with my member untouched.

Knowing that he was far from done and that my hole would eventually become too sensitive to tolerate the rough pounding he was imposing on it, he pulled out, reaching down to give his cock a few strokes and to prestidigitate my juices off of it.

“Your mouth, now.” the low rumble of his voice pulled me out from my post ejaculation stupor and I opened my portal as wide as I could manage.

He seemed to consider just sticking his member in my oral gate, he even pulled up his hand and inserted two of his digits in there, which I sucked avidly while making direct orb contact.

“No, not like this, I want you kneeling down.” He leaned forward to untie my hands and tenderly kiss the raw skin on my wrists before getting off the bed and standing in front of it.

I immediately understood what I had to do, so I got on my hands and knees and sexilly crawled my way over to his pristine phallus, first rubbing my hands on the sides of his torso and thighs, looking up at his bright red orbs with parted and wet mouth rims, which I then gingerly placed on the purple head of his cock.

He shuddered and seemed to struggle with not pushing my head down, I enjoyed seeing him like this, so undone and almost vulnerable in my control.

I worked my way down his magnificent shaft placing deliberate pecks and the occasional brush of my tongue to truly drive him insane as I neared the root of his tool.

Once I got there, I sucked his smooth genital balloons in my mouth one at a time, swirling my tongue around as I did so, it made him sigh and moan and the sound only encouraged me.

When I thought I had toyed with him enough I moved to lick a long straight line on his manhood, from root to tip, he thrusted as I reached the top, almost making me miss and hitting my nose by mistake.

I took his member into my warm and welcoming cave, my lips were stretched as far as they could go and I started bobbing my head up and down while twisting the base of his shaft with my hands.

That apparently wasn’t enough for him, as after a few minutes he couldn’t hold off anymore and grabbed my hair, pulling my head down until his cock reached the back of my throat.

Luckily, I was born without a gag reflex, so this wasn’t an issue for me, I could have easily taken him down even deeper without any discomfort.

He started bucking wildly, his shaft going deeper and deeper with every thrust, I could barely breathe but I didn’t care, nothing could stop me from finishing my Lord off like this.

He tugged at the back of my head to warn me that he was about to come and he pulled me off of his member with a loud  _ POP  _ sound. With one final grunt on his part, he shot his essence all over my face and chest. What was I to do if not clean it up, after all he’d spent so much time earlier getting me clean of all the blood, and so I used my hands to scrape up his seed, and brought one digit at a time to my lips, licking and sucking them with greed, as if his cum had been a gourmet meal and I could not let any drop go to waste.

His eyes followed me with interest as I did so, a growl came from the back of his throat as he kissed me again hungrily. “I’ll give you ten minutes, then we’re going for a second rou______

  
  
  


_ I, Strahd von Zarovich, would formally like to make it known that none of the acts depicted in this piece of fiction are real, this is all work of the sick mind of my servant, Rahadin. Only my love for academia and belief that no work of literature, no matter how insignificant and repugnant, should be lost prevent me from burning these papers, they have, however, been removed from their author, who has been forbidden from ever writing again _

_ S.v.Z _


End file.
